Why are you holding off that decision?
There must be something in the air! A handful of my close friends have made or are in the process of making life changing decisions. Some of them are changing careers and starting new professional adventures. Others are moving countries and finding their feet in a new culture. It sounds exciting, doesn’t it? I bet they didn’t take these decisions lightly.
Under normal circumstances, making a decision is easy. You follow a 7-step-process or so my left brain tells me:
- Realise that a decision needs to be made and define what kind of decision is required. Is it a required decision or will it lead to an improvement in your life? How will your life look like when you’ve made that decision? The next day, month, year or in 5 or 10 years?
- Get more information to make an informed decision. This, of course, also means that you know what kind of information will help you make that informed decision. Ask yourself and, depending on the topic, other people impacted questions. One question and its answer may lead to a new question. Be careful not to become paralysed by the amount of information provided to you.
- Identify options and alternatives. Brainstorm what else you can do. Can you look at one option and take it further by looking at it from a different angle? Don’t rule out anything at this stage and just let everything flow. Do you want to include others in this exploring activity?
- Evaluate your opinions and review the pros and cons of each option. You can apply the visualisation practice shown in step 1. What will your life look like if you’ll chose option 1, option 2 and so on? If you are not going to chose option 1, what will you miss in your life? What if you chose option 2? Review your values to put a weight to each pro and con. If you can simply add them up, which has the most pros? Will one con outweigh all the positive aspects of the option and become a dealbreaker, well decision-breaker?
- Choose one of the alternatives most suited for your specific situation. In some cases, you may even be able to combine some alternatives. Will there be any risks when selecting this preferred decision?
- Take action and implement or live your decision. What’s the first step you’ll take? Do you just announce it or what actions will come afterwards, like in the next hour, the next week, the next months? Do you need to have a specific plan of action or will you go with the flow after having made the decision?
- Finally, you may also review your decision. How has the decision improved your life? What can and what needs to be adjusted?
Now, you may argue that this decision process works well in business or for rational issues. But what for emotional issues or matter related to the heart? How do you make a decision there?
You can follow a similar approach and really focus on how each option aligns to your values. If it doesn’t fit with them, your heart will probably scream out loud! If you can, dig deep into the appeal of one option although your mind tells you “No!”. What emotions are popping up, either slowly or immediately when you’re thinking of this option? Is it fear of the unknown, familiarity, excitement or a sense of adventure or remembering how, a long time ago, someone else was in a similar situation but you don’t want to follow their decision?
Once you can identify which emotions are part of the decision making process, you can not only recognise them but also use them to your advantage. If anxiety is one of them, look into way your can either reduce it or maybe even remove it.
Wishing you all the best for your life changing decision and the many decisions you make every day!
Until next time,
Agni